When I had a hateful comment on one of my Vlogs this morning, I realized an interesting thing: I still have a reaction towards it. The whole process of the reaction is as follows:
First there is a slight warm feeling in the chest that spreads out into the whole upper body. When the thoughts arise, this warm tightened feeling moves into my head and remains there, until I resolve the conflict. Along with that thoughts come up about that person that wrote the comment, and these thoughts build a 'character' and create a diffuse image of the person that represents all aspects of people or personalities that I felt or still feel inferior to, so that it can create enough potential inside myself to make me fear that person, respectively that what the personality represents through that comment to me.
So in essence I create that entity all by myself, while the comment or the person that wrote that comment just set something in motion. If there wouldn't be any reaction, there wouldn't be any influence through that person and its comment whatsoever.
You can only harm yourself means that you must allow and accept the influence through your mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an image of another person and to percieve that person to be threatening, bad and dangerous because of a hateful comment someone made in reaction to my Vlog.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my own creation.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from that creation of my mind instead of seeing it as an opportunity to face my fears and to go into the points where I am not stable and still uncertain.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as inferior to others just because I may be overwhelmed with the responsibility I have as an equal.
The feeling and reaction I experienced was actually the fear that still exists within me, because of points where I am still not standing one and equal to all Life. Triggered by those comments this fear generates emotional reactions that I experience as Anger, Frustration and Aggression. When I experience those emotions I feel the urge to Hurt somebody, especially that 'person' that wrote the comment, literally I feel like 'I want to kill him'. And within that I continue the chain of possession, I become an accomplice of abuse and exploitation, I become my own Demon.
So I do realize that it is not the 'other' one that harms me or my work, but it is me and my reaction, caused by ignored conflicts or unforgiven points existing within me.
Therefore I use those comments, those hateful expressions in reaction to the representation of what I say and express as an opportunity to realize and test myself whether I stand no matter what, or if I have to go deeper into some mind constructs and pull out the roots of my own fear.
I realize that fear can only exist in ignorance of what really is here and what I really am as Life, one and equal in every breath.
I am aware that emotional reactions of anger, frustration, hate and revenge derive from an inner conflict of uncertainty and fear. Therefore those emotions are not real, not standing for their own as such, they are based on fear which is in essence not real but just a thought and a creation of my own mind.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from fear instead of realising that I am one with my fear and in that realization direct my fear through self honesty and self corrective application.
I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to be controled by fear because I separated myself from fear.
I face the point of being afraid whenever it occurs, not running and hiding, but being the fear in each moment I experience it and transform or deconstruct the components of this fear experience. In that I see the parts, connections and all thought constructs that generate the fear and therefore I am able to realize that fear is not a threat to me, fear is not real but a self created tool of enslavement and self limitation through the mind.
I am Life,